Dear Mr. Sinek, Stop Negging Millennials

I’ve been seeing this video making the rounds for a few weeks now, and I have a few thoughts.  I think Mr. Sinek makes some great points, but he is setting off some of my con-artist alarm bells, and I wanted to talk about why.

Mr. Sinek is making Millennials feel like there’s something wrong with us for being dissatisfied with the status quo.  He says we have low self-esteem, he says that we’re impatient, he says that we don’t have the coping mechanisms to deal with stress.  And the worst bit?  He says we’ve been “dealt a bad hand” and invites us to blame our parents and our bosses. Then he implies that he has the answers.  Red flag. Seriously. This reminds me of negging.

I don’t want to fall for this.  This kind of thinking breeds resentment, which is, in the words of the mental health community, the relationship killer.  It kills marriages, it kills friendships, it kills constituencies.  Once someone thinks they deserve better and that they can point to the person who took what they’d been promised, they start operating from a viewpoint of scarcity. And they get angry.  And scared.  Angry, scared people are really easy to control, especially when someone tells them they have the solution.  We’ve seen that happen.

We are a generation of people who’ve spent years working for free because someone in HR called our jobs “internships.”  We are not lazy.  We are a generation whose silly social media games created enough funding to isolate the gene that causes ALS.  We are not rootless.  Seeing the enormous wealth disparity in this county and questioning our dissatisfaction with lower wages, longer hours and higher costs does not mean we have low self-esteem – it means we have what it takes to change the system.

Which brings me to another point – I think Mr. Sinek, either unconsciously or deliberately, missed a very crucial element of Millennial job dissatisfaction, which is the fact that wages are falling behind inflation in a huge way. 

We can’t keep pretending like income disparity isn’t real and growing, then disguise it as a bogus generational existential crisis.  Income disparity is real.  Most of the people my age I’ve talked to who’ve left jobs in the past 5 years didn’t do it for wishy-washy reasons like “not making an impact” – they left because they weren’t being paid a living wage, and if they were, had to work 15+ hour days to earn it (that isn’t an exaggeration).

We are the lowest paid generation since the 1980’s.   We are also, contrary to popular belief, the most productive.  If you’re a Baby Boomer and you’re reading this, please know that I made an average of 24k per year at the jobs I quit to end up where I am now.  If you adjust for inflation, that’s like making 4K a year in the 1970’s, when you were my age.  If we leave a job that isn’t compensating us fairly, that isn’t “entitlement.”  It’s functioning capitalism.

Millennials aren’t any better or worse than any other arbitrarily-defined generation that came before or after us, but I have found that we are a generation of ethical Libertarians and Democratic Socialists who don’t always agree with each other yet genuinely want to see our communities doing well.  Let’s not fall into traps of self-hate and external blame that lead to resentment.  That’s how we become the generation of the Alt-right.  Let’s do the work to change the various income inequalities that have taken over the American workplace.  Let’s change the minds of the people who perpetuate them, especially when we look inward and find that the minds that need to be changed are our own.

And let’s maybe take more breaks from social media.  It’s addicting.  I’ll concede that point :-p

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“I’m Not Here To Make Friends”

There is one thing that Trump generally doesn’t lie about: his emotions – namely the ones happening in the immediate moment.  I think that’s why people think he “tells it like it is” and “isn’t PC.”  Politicians, whether they’re honest about what they’re doing or not, pretty much across the board lie about how they’re feeling, or at least put on an act.   Trump doesn’t.

In politics, there is a proper way to show emotions – we never see Obama get angry, and Hillary Clinton is always smiling, frowning, and laughing at the right moments to the appropriate things.  We know she’d probably like to write an angry 3 am tweetstorm at Comey and Weiner but she reels that instinct in.  In public, she is appropriately disappointed at the outcome of the election.  

When a politician’s veneer cracks and real emotions seep into the constructed ones, the result is a kind of hybrid emotion that people can’t read, which makes us uncomfortable. Think of that moment when Clinton noticed the balloons drop.

Trump doesn’t really have a veneer, because he doesn’t seem to think that certain emotions are indecorous.  I think it makes people simultaneously trust him more and feel validated about some of their own baser instincts.  He makes it seem like it’s ok to feel vindictive if you appear to be losing, it’s ok to be happy when you get a compliment (even if it’s from a racist asshat), it’s ok to brag about your wealth.  It’s ok be violently angry, even if it’s misdirected at innocent people.

Our current culture doesn’t really trust people who seem to be feeling exactly as they’re supposed to be all the time.  There’s a reason that Jennifer Lawrence is America’s Sweetheart right now and perfect Anne Hathaway isn’t – we don’t have patience for filters, and in some ways have forgotten that sometimes they exist for a good reason.

To be clear, I admire and understand Clinton’s emotional restraint, and I think Trump DOES have a filter, but it’s the same kind that Kim Kardashian has – a filter that makes literally everything look unplanned and emotionally authentic, à la reality TV.  It turned out to be an effective way to keep people watching and make them feel like he was a personal friend.

I think what people will start to realize, and what we can start to point out, is that while Trump tells it like it is with regards to current emotional state, he doesn’t tell it like it is with regards to what he’s doing (or even what he did in the past).   We can acknowledge that knowing how a politician is feeling most of the time is very, very refreshing, but must also contend with the fact that not knowing what a politician is doing and how they will act is very, very dangerous.  

Trump has no history in public office that we can extrapolate from, he won’t release his tax returns, and we don’t really know where and how he does his business.  He’s never outlined a concrete plan for the actual execution of what he proposes, and he doesn’t like the press bringing it up.  We know he genuinely likes Putin as a person, but what we don’t know is what they actually talk about together.  Did they conspire to win the American Election?  Is Trump in a position to make a lot of money if we start funding Russia’s wars? Is it just a bizarre bromance? We won’t know until Trump does something.  And by then we could be in a situation that endangers American and global citizens alike.

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The Arts, Truth, and Civil Disobedience

Context.

It seems almost sinister, almost calculated, the way that the arts are targeted first. “You won’t get a job,” they say, dismissively.  Sometimes, we believe them. And yet, for all their uselessness, the arts have been skillfully deployed as propaganda by authoritarian regimes all over the world.  The arts speak the language of the heart. The Arts can bolster a corrupt regime up to unprecedented heights.  

The arts can also surreptitiously dismantle it. Do authoritarian leaders realize this themselves, or do they notice a long, historical pattern of artists being a generally difficult species to subdue?

I must not tell lies.

I remember learning (during my useless Liberal Arts education) about the works of Mikhail Bulgakov, a Russian author and playwright whose work was increasingly banned for satirizing and cheekily critiquing  Soviet culture during Stalin’s reign. Enough of his work got through to his audience for his message to sink in, in part, I believe, because his talent was a big enough asset to the Soviet art scene that they were willing to overlook his transgressions at first.

Centuries earlier, Bulgakov’s hero, the French playwright Moliere, wrote plays mocking the ruling classes – always biting enough to make people think, but funny enough to keep him out of jail. Mostly.

Like a person, a good measure of a government’s sense of stability is whether or not it allows you to make fun of it.

In their most subtle forms, the arts can slink under the radar of an authoritarian regime, bending words and obscuring meaning within meaning, and slip truths like passed notes under the veil of storytelling. Truths that the oppressor tries to hide from the people.

I must not tell lies.

The arts are dangerous.  They challenge us to slowly doubt the world that has been built around us, the world that has gently wrapped itself around our minds like a blanket. Maybe this world has told us things. Things we’re complacent with. Things like:

“Everything was better in the 1950’s.”

“Protestors are just whiners.”

“The rich know best what to do with the money in our system. That’s why they must be the job creators, not you. Never you.”

“That’s locker room talk.”

“Muslims should be registered for our country’s safety.”

The seeds of doubt in these notions are anchors to our better human nature. These kinds of seeds aren’t sewn by people shouting facts and figures at us, pleading with us, arguing with us. Arguments might budge us a little, but art – art speaks the language of the heart. And art, with its million disguises and meandering truths, knows how to get there, burrowing deep until it grows.

It’s the play about the foolish king, the novel about the wise maid, the painting of a creature wrenching itself apart that keeps you up at 3 a.m., wondering how you could have been so blind.  It’s the children’s series featuring a teenage boy whose who is forced to write lines in his own blood when he dares speak out against corruption that becomes our instruction manual for how to fight for our rights.

The arts doesn’t accuse. They only invite you to be a part of the story.

I must not tell lies.

Save the arts, my friends. Someday they might be the only voice of truth you have left.

muffin-reading

 

Ok. Ok.  The world of art won’t die if the current regime stops funding it. It will simply become the purview of the wealthy, and their children who can afford to learn it – which, frankly, is tragic. The rich man has many languages, but the language of most of his fellow men is not one of them.

We will seldom hear the voices of those who feel their full potential and can’t reach for it due to lack of time and resources.  These voices hold truths from people all around us, in every part of our society. And we can’t grow as a society until their truths permeate our blanketed minds as easily as the truths of the ones who have it easy.

And I’m no art historian, but I can think of at least one example of a time when art was driven by those with the largest bank accounts.

Gothic art
Gothic art
Even more Gothic art

(This is not an exhaustive list.  There were also cool drawings of skeletons).

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Panic

One day last week, I read this depressing and unsurprising summary of the Trump administration’s plan for Higher Ed reform.  One bit stood out:

“And these reforms would make it legitimate for colleges and banks to make decisions in part on students’ prospective majors and their likely earnings after graduation, he said.

‘If you are going to study 16th-century French art, more power to you. I support the arts,’ Clovis said. ‘But you are not going to get a job.’”
I almost burst into tears at work when I read this quote. Literature – fine arts – philosophy – all undoubtedly on the lowest rungs of the Trump administration’s Ladder of Societal Usefulness. But they are what make up our history, our stories, and our passions.
As a theater major, I feel best equipped to talk about the fine arts aspect of our education, which has been experiencing a slow death by a thousand paper cuts over the past decade. I fear that a Trump presidency, and a government fallen to Republican rule without checks or balances, could kill arts education forever.

 

And on that depressing note, I will write more tomorrow.

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A Letter to Generation Y: Don’t Stop Whining.

This is an older post – Sept. 17 2013

A response to this blog:

Hi. I’m Lucy. 

Recently, my 20 something compatriots and I have been reduced to a Facebook-addicted, entitled, delusional, self absorbed Gen Y Protagonist and Special Yuppie stick figure who is “kind of unhappy.”
 

I’m here to tell you it’s all true. I check Facebook once every 15 minutes on my iPhone, and I feel deeply unworthy as I absorb the baleful effects of Facebook Image Crafting. Secretly, I think I’m Harry Potter and that once the world discovers that I’m a wizard, everything will be all flowers and unicorns and Dumbledore. I selfishly want to be fulfilled AND secure, at the same time.

There’s only one thing you got wrong about me: I am not “kind of” unhappy. I am extremely unhappy.

(Lucy SMASH!)

Let me break it down for you:

Extreme Unhappiness = (Crippling Student Debt + Unaffordable Healthcare + Unlivable Wages + Being Called “Whiney” All The Damn Time) – iPhone

I am wildly ambitious. I am in my 20’s. I’m supposed to be like this. This is the time in my life for taking risks and thinking about really huge possibilities because I am unfettered by spouse, family and mortgage. Thinking about whether I want to be the President or the author of the next Great American Novel is what will put me on the path to being a lawyer or an Associate Project Manager who managed to publish a book in her spare time.

The problem isn’t that our dreams aren’t measuring up to our realities, the problem is that we aren’t even given the chance to try to make it happen.

The fact is, I’m not unfettered. I’m deep in student loan debt, decent healthcare costs me half my paycheck and affordable healthcare will leave me bankrupt me if I spend a night in the hospital. I can’t afford to take the risks I need to take to go after my dreams. I need whatever job or two or three I can take just to survive, which is kind of a slap in the face after hearing stories my hippie parents tell about hitchhiking to Mexico and building chairs out of driftwood while affording a – granted, small – NYC apartment at my age.

But I get it. Jobs are a fact of life. Or at least, they would be if anyone would hire us. It’s one thing to start at the bottom and slowly work your way up. But when even the lowest rungs of the ladder are inaccessible to you and all you’re getting hired to do is babysit and make coffee, that’s another thing entirely. Those of us who managed to find “secure” and even “fulfilling” careers (I’m an Associate Project Manager at a publishing company) are usually paid less than a living wage. I can’t just “dive in somewhere” – there’s not enough water.

For those of you Boomers out there who survived on $10,000 per year in the 70’s, and are perplexed that we can’t seem break our new gadget addictions long enough to try it, look at it this way: Inflation has increased by a factor of about 4, so if you were working that same entry level job you had in the 70’s nowadays, you would be making close to 40k. Conversely, if my salary is converted into 70’s value dollars, I am making 4K a year. With student loans. And much, much pricier healthcare that most people my age opt out of, if we even can.

So sure. The average baby boomer career path, using horticultural graphs and metaphors, looks like this:

The way we see it, our career path is shaping up to look like this:

Which, admittedly, makes our parents’ career paths look like this:

To make things worse, we all read the news and bloggers more intelligent than we are, we all know that we are much more productive than our ancestors, and we also know that most of our very hard work ends up as cash not in our pockets, but in the pockets of the 1%. And that stings.

It feels like this:

 

Of course I want flowers on my lawn. I want a big apartment overlooking a fantastic city full of craft beers and cute friends, I want a love life nothing short of cinematic, I want Hogwarts for grown-ups. 

Everyone wants that. You want that.

A safe place to live, a loving partnership with a person of my preferred gender, a semi-decent job that pays my bills and gets me the care I need when I’m sick – these are not flowers. And I am told I’m an entitled, whiny stick figure who thinks she’s special every time I complain about not having them. 

Michael Chwe made a very insightful comment in his book, Jane Austen, Game Theorist:

“Austen shows how social norms, far from protecting sociality against the corrosive forces of individualism, can be the first in line of oppression. For Austen, duty and decorum are often nothing but pretenses used to prevent a person from making her own choices, over whom to marry or even whether to take a walk. To control someone, call them selfish. ”

Calling someone whiny, deluded or selfish is a way to take away their social capital, thus making them easier to dismiss.

Therefore I, Lucy, the narcissistic 20 something, see it as my responsibility to complain, whine, blog and tweet my outrage because I am living in a society that is in need of deep and sustained reform. This is my responsibility because I am the hero of the story, because I have something special that nobody else has, and because I just can’t take criticism very well. Or maybe it’s because everybody else is content to ignore the rapidly increasing wealth disparity and gradual erosion of human rights, and I’m the one who is going to have to raise, clothe, educate and take care of children in this mess. My silence is only convenient to those who benefit from an economy that’s rigged against the majority of the population.

One last thing: It’s the Boomers and Greatests who keep bringing up the fact that we’re defective and that they have it all figured out.

Why are we the arrogant ones?

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A College Fit For A (Disney) Princess

Fun fact: Most of the Disney Princesses are aged between 14 and 19. This can only mean that, had they not lived in the Magical Fantasyland of Dreams Come True, they’d be living here, enduring the giddy drudgery of  the College Search.  While we can’t say for sure where or whether they would have gone to school, we can hazard a few guesses based on their evident interests and personalities.

(This week was my first foray into content marketing at my “real” job – you can read the rest of the article here).

 

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Sell Your Indie Game Like A Gecko

When you’re talking about your game, don’t talk about game mechanics, how character creation works, or delve into the minute details of the setting. It is easy and tempting, but don’t, unless of course you’re asked. It will be necessary to give an overview of the setting and the premise, but what you really want to hone in on is what a fantastic gaming experience playing your game provides. Talk about the adrenaline rush play testers felt during combat scenes, talk about the transformative conversations you had afterwards, talk about how much you laughed and cried and yelled and about that one game where two of your players started dating in the moments following a game’s conclusion. This is why people game. This is what your game is ultimately about.

Read more…

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Hello world!

First post, first picture.  It’s a dragon.  

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